Family We Choose
Have you ever met someone you immediately sensed would become an important person in your life? My friend, Sharon, is one of those people.
Actually, “friend” is an inadequate description - as special as friendship is, it feels too superficial a title for the place Sharon holds in my life. “Sister” is more apt.
““Friends are the family we choose ourselves.””
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a wonderful family - in fact I’m fortunate to say that my Mum is one of my best friends. And, to be honest, I can’t take the credit for choosing Sharon as my family. I truly think God placed her in my life because He knew I needed a sister to lean on, learn from and emulate.
1 John 4:19 says “We love him, because he first loved us.” I think this is exactly why many people love Sharon - because, like Jesus, she first loved them. Isn’t that how we are meant to live our lives as imitators of Jesus?
“For when you demonstrate the same love I have for you by loving one another, everyone will know that you’re my true followers.” John 13:35 (TPT)
I’ve discovered that it’s easier to quote this passage than to live it.
“Engaging in authentic friendships that go beyond the superficial is becoming increasingly difficult in our super-charged, hyper-connected world.”
The truth is, although I was immediately drawn to Sharon, our friendship didn’t develop right away. I’ve known her for well over a decade, but it took many years for our relationship to grow deeper.
The shift in our friendship from superficial to family started a few years back, when my life was in a serious crisis. I badly needed a Godly friend who could be a shoulder to cry on and, more importantly, would stand with me in prayer. In this lonely time in my life, Sharon listened as I poured out my pain. She spoke words of faith and encouragement to my aching heart. Instinctively, I knew she could be trusted with my deepest secrets. Best of all, Sharon stood in the gap for me when my own faith was as small as a tiny mustard seed.
Deeply empathetic and authentic, Sharon is uncompromisingly committed to speaking God’s truth. The photo at the top of this post is of Sharon praying over her daughter-in-law on the day of her son’s wedding. This is exactly the image I have of Sharon when I picture her in my mind’s eye. Sharon lives in close communion with the Holy Spirit and lives out Paul’s instruction to “pray without ceasing”. Sometimes when you are talking with her, she will close her eyes and, with a little smile on her face, say “Mmmm, Hallelujah” as though she is having a private little side conversation with her Lord. Sharon’s intimacy with her Savior springs from a deep place and many hours in His presence.
As the circumstances in my life stabilized and my crisis eventually passed, I saw less of Sharon. We both lead busy lives and, although we live just over a mile apart, our paths did not often cross.
It is only because of Sharon’s gift of hospitality that we have a friendship at all. Every now and then she would invite my husband and I to a 4th of July BBQ, or include us in her family’s New Year’s Eve celebration. Over time we became part of her extended adopted family and we feel honored to be considered such.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I over-think hospitality. I put so much pressure on myself to have a perfectly clean home, the most delicious food and all the details planned. But Sharon has learned the secret of spontaneity. She will often shoot out an email or text inviting folks for a meal, a movie, a game, or a walk in the park. No pressure. Effortless and easy, but with just the right level of care thrown in.
Sharon is a gatherer of people. She has a way of making people feel like they are the most special person in her life.
“When Sharon invites you into her home, the overriding feeling you are left with is that you were included. ”
Through Sharon, I have been introduced to a new world of wonderful people who are delightful and a gift in their own right.
But best of all, I have discovered a sister whom I can trust, learn from and simply delight in.
